Sad, Sad Day.

Well Sasha had to go back to Russia yesterday and it was much rougher than I expected.  The little fella cried and hugged my neck so hard.  It broke my heart to see him cry and melted my heart to hear him snuff out "I love you, Mama" in English.  He learned quite a few words while he was here and even translated a little for his friends at the airport...so cute:)

The next step is to get USCIS approval and finish the docs for our dossier so we can take our first trip to Russia....hopefully in September.

To be honest with you, the six weeks were much harder than I expected.  I wasn't prepared physically for the high level of energy and I was definitely not prepared mentally for the adjustment to our house rules :)  There was alot more defiance than I was expecting but every week into the visit got easier and easier as we stayed consistent to discipline and love. I'm sure alot was testing to see if we could be trusted to stay true to him.  We passed!!

I know we will have a lot more to get through when he comes back, but I feel we made huge progress and the foundation has been started. I have to keep reminding myself of the life this little guy has had and what we are dealing with. I know I will never fully understand all that he has endured.  Our trip over to the orphanage will be eye opening I'm sure.

The nights when I fell into bed so totally exhausted I would pray "God, are you sure this is what you want ME to do?"  I thought for sure I had misunderstood somewhere along the way.  Everywhere I turn I am reminded that this is not about me....I didn't choose this journey to grow my family or to fulfill some crazy desire for more children...God chose me to care for the orphans (he even sent me the one he wanted me to care for, how much clearer does it get, duh.)and this is entirely about being obedient to God's calling on my life.  At the moment I am very content with that calling....but please don't stop praying because there will still be days when my flesh wants to give up and the enemy tries to make me fall down and be defeated.

Thank you to everyone that has prayed for us!

Comments

[Jeannie]

You got it..your in my prayers. I have asked GOD also..if adoption is what he wants for us..and it is inescapable!